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Verbally communicating is the most frequently used and highly developed form of human communication. It is essential that we understand its role and effectiveness in our daily lives. In our own perception we may convey the message clearly and understandingly. The opposing individual may conceive it differently by the way it was expressed or by a simple misunderstanding of language used. Verbal communications can be broken down into two parts; Language and Listening. Understanding these two key elements will help us better our own verbal communication skills and able us to express our meanings more clearly for the receiving party to better understand us.
From the time we were born, sounds produced by our vocal chords gradually form into words. Words alone carry no meaning but as a word is assigned a meaning, language develops and then leads onto the development of speaking. The development of languages reflects gender, profession, class, age group, and other social factors. Considering there are over ,000 languages and major dialects worldwide, it can be exceedingly difficult to communicate between the different languages. Beyond the diversity of foreign languages, problems in communicating also arise within a single language.
While engaging in conversation we tend to make assumptions that the words we use mean the same to us as to the person we are talking to. It is important that we take into consideration that every person thinks, talks, and listens in their own unique language that may slightly vary in meaning from our own. The meanings of our own personal language originates from our culture, religion, country, neighborhood, job, personality, education, family, friends, recreation, sex, experiences, age, and other factors.
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Understanding how words bring about meaning helps us to better understand language. Words are arbitrary, they have no inherent meanings; they have only the meaning people give them. The denotative meaning, which is the agreed-upon meaning or dictionary meaning, doesn't keep it's meaning from changing nor does it tell you the connotative meaning. The connotative meaning is an individualized or personalized meaning that may be emotionally laden. A great example would be the denotative meaning of sadness would be "affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness", but yet the connotative meaning might alter from person to person due to their own personal experiences with that word.
Sometimes the usage of unconventional language may make sense and enhance the meaning and understanding of a word, but also using it in a creative way may create a barrier for communicating. This is known as alternative language. Alternative language includes grammatical errors and the use of colloquialisms, metatalk, clichs, euphemisms, slang, profanity, figures of speech, jargon, regionalisms, street language, and sexist, racist, or heterosexist language. We must always be aware of what form of language and how we express ourselves due to the diverse cultures of people we are surrounded by on a daily basis. To communicate effectively we must speak in a manner that is not offending to the receiver. Not everyone originates from the same location thus the meaning of your definition of a word does not mean the same to the person you are communicating with.
Within my particular working environment I work with people from all branches of the military including myself. Within a military environment, people come from all regional locations. To illustrate briefly, our night shift electrical shop of only 5 people consisted of a New Yorker, a Texan, a Hawaiian, a Californian, and an individual from the Philippines. There is not two individuals within this group that shared any similarities in culture, neighborhood, families, friends, personality, and for one of us, country. Taking this into consideration, when a Texan is talking to the rest of the group, it would be difficult for them to be understanding if the Texan was to say, "Did y'all here about that 'ole boy that went down yonder and whooped the tar out of that lil 'ole hillbilly?" This would be a form of regionalism and slang. Only someone within the same region would understand what is being said. A proper way for the Texan to relay this to the group would be, "Did you guys here about that guy that went down south and beat up that little man from the hills?" It is important for us to be aware of our audience and their cultural differences. To better communicate with others it is necessary for us to find some common meaning or perspective in our language to which we can all accept.
In order for verbal communications to be effective, there must be a receiver on the opposing end. If the receiver tunes out your conversation by means of body language that deflects what you are attempting to communicate, then verbal communications has failed. So it is significant that we tune into our listening skills as well. Why do you think it is possible that we were given two ears but only one mouth? Possibly because it is twice as hard to listen as it is to talk. The best way of going about being a more effective listener is to listen with your face.
The first step in doing so is to simply act like a good listener. We spend most of our time tuning out all the information that is thrown at us. So it is important that when confronted verbally, we change our physical body language from that of a deflector to a receiver. Since our faces contain most of the receptive equipment in our bodies, it would only be natural to tilt our faces towards the source of information being communicated.
Secondly, use other bodily receptors besides your ears. Making eye contact is very important during conversations. A speaker will put more effort into delivering information when he notices he has a receptive audience. Once eye and face contact is established, then you must react to the speaker by sending out non-verbal signals. Movement of your face will give the range of emotions that will indicate whether or not you are listening to the speaker.
One of the most famous saying a child hears from their mother as they are growing up is, "how can you hear me when your mouth is moving?" It is more effective to stop talking and use receptive language instead as in "I see, oh really". This method will encourage your speaker's train of thought and force you to react to the ideas presented. Also rather than giving your opinion on the subject it is better to ask questions instead.
Most importantly it is essential to have an open mind that is listening and receiving. If you are being judgmental and mentally disagreeing with the speaker before they have completed, then you cannot fully hear their point of view or process. If the speaker has your full concentration and you are listening with your face, then the information that is being communicated will be delivered much more efficiently.
Verbal communications may seem so simple at times but is an extremely fundamental life long attribute. We use it daily and every where we go. The more we understand it, the better we are able to use and implicate it within our families, working environment, and our daily lives to make tasks operate smoother and less complicated.
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